When I was a “baby” lawyer, I had a colleague that was very firm in her convictions about the Christmas holiday. She was this brilliant and devoted attorney that had a work ethic that was absolutely amazing. She worked so hard and had a philosophy that you owe your job (and your boss) your best efforts while at work. So, I was very surprised when she firmly stated to me that regardless of what was going on at work, she took off a full week for Christmas, no ifs ands or buts, every year. I believe to this day, she still adheres to this practice.

This experience with this colleague resonated with me, to this day. I had such a deep respect for her drawing this line in the sand. But, I didn’t really think I could apply it to my life until this past holiday season. I was the woman that would be willing to do First Appearances on the 23^rd of December. I was the woman that was available to do a bond hearing the afternoon before Thanksgiving (and I mean late afternoon). When I worked for the State as a prosecutor, I loved the work so much that it didn’t really occur to me that I needed to take time away from it until it was too late to request that time off. So, I almost always ended up being the one that was in town during the holidays.

Now that I am in private practice, I am more pensive about these times of year and where I want to be. Don’t I get to holiday?? Yes. I do. During this time of year, I find myself more often questioning myself about why I am in private practice as an attorney. I find myself, in response, reminding myself about some of the main reasons why I made the choice to switch to private practice. One of the main reasons was to have the opportunity and unfettered freedom for being able to say that I will be taking a week off for Christmas or Thanksgiving; without explanation to anyone.

So, have I managed to do this so far? Well, I give myself a B-.

My first Christmas holiday in private practice, I made the mistake of not firmly communicating to my clients that I would not be available to them over the Christmas holiday. So, I found myself fretting about a client’s matter and putting out some small fire that in retrospect, the client could have and did handle on their own. That felt horrible for me, because I let work creep into this special time of year that I deserved to step away from my work. In actuality, that meant that I was distracted while with my family, and it kept me from truly enjoying the time I had with the people I loved and didn’t get to see often. I ended up squandering or missing out on those impromptu moments where you just decide to make cookies, or someone has a great idea to go see a movie we all realize we want to see.

This year, I have done much better (100% I believe…). I think this year was better because I remembered that previous years’ experience well and vowed not to repeat it. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t allow work to creep into the holiday I carved out for myself. I think what made it a lot easier for me to do this was not only due to a previous years’ experience, but also because most of the country and most of the world was experiencing a holiday season. So, it was not unreasonable that I, along with most others who are able to take off, was allowed to not be available during the holiday. Of course, this is the case every year. But it was only THIS year that I allowed myself to accept that as an excuse for myself.

So, how exactly did I manage to accomplish this, this year’s past? First, I made sure to NOT schedule anything during this time; not even phone calls or zoom meetings. While I was not on secured leave, I took great pains to clear my schedule during this time if I was able. So, the likelihood that I would be called away or needed was very low. Second, before I left for the holiday, I crafted an email away message that clearly stated that I would NOT be returning emails and NOT be available during this time away. In it I included when I would be back and gave people the option of calling the office if they needed further assistance. For me, this set me up to clearly prepare everyone to expect that I would be away and no, they could not reach me until I returned. Third, I turned off my email notifications on my phone. I didn’t want to hear that “ping” emanating from my phone while I was away with my family. When I turned off my notifications, I inevitably only checked my email when it occurred to me to do so. Fourth, when I did check my email, I did not, under any circumstances, return any emails. It was really important (and difficult) for me to do this as I really wanted to reinforce with my clients that I meant it; when I am away and tell you that you cannot reach me, you cannot reach me. Period. I think you lose credibility when you don’t adhere to what you say your boundaries are. When you don’t do what you say in this department, then your words mean nothing to people, and they call or email you anyway expecting a reply. Practically, the way I was able to make the decision not to return emails was to first ask myself the following questions as I reviewed them: 1) Is this an emergency?, 2) If I don’t respond, will it disadvantage or negatively affect someone?, and 3) If I wait to respond when I come back will anyone have lost anything that cannot be recouped? Asking myself these questions each time I did review my email allowed me to appropriately assess this boundary and make the decision not to dishonor it. Ultimately, I didn’t feel the NEED to respond to emails after doing this inventory each time. So, I was able to not return emails under any circumstances. I noticed that the steps I took required EFFORT and ATTENTION to what I was doing. For me, it was well worth it and I was able to do better with taking my holiday than I had before. 

A few colleagues of mine that run their own offices close their offices for that week between Christmas and New Year’s Day. I think that is awesome and that they are on to something. I think they recognize that this is a universally acceptable time for respite and reflection, and that they too (as well as their staff) deserve that time as a whole to step away and not feel the demands of the office.

In reality, I don’t think we as practitioners need an excuse like the holidays to step away or tell our clients that we are unavailable. The highest court in North Carolina seemed to agree. According to an article written by Melvin F. Wright, Jr, titled  “Secured Leave for Attorneys.” (located online at web address: https://www.nclap.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Secured-Leave.pdf , Accessed January 1, 2021) back in 1999 the North Carolina Supreme Court amended the Rules of Practice for the Superior and District Courts to include a secure leave period for attorneys. This was a dedicated, Court sanctioned time an attorney could designate for themselves, put their hand up and say “no” to all (yes, even the Court). Of course, the Rules also state that we cannot designate that time away if doing so will be harmful to the client or designed to delay the timely resolution of matters. But, this is a North Carolina Supreme Court sanctioned procedure by which to get that holiday you so deserve if you are a hardworking (or not so hardworking) practitioner. You can find these rules online at www.nccourts.org (follow the “Courts” tab to the Supreme Court Rules tabs).

So, yes. Yes, I do get to holiday, and so should you.