How Can I Say This…You’re F*ckin’ Up….
This week’s post about clients and their poor decision making has been difficult to write, for some reason. I have started and stopped and started again without being content in what I was writing. So, when I stepped away from the computer for a minute, I pondered why it was so hard for me to write about this subject and it hit me. It bothers me when clients make fucked up decisions. So that is where I will start.
What are we to do when our clients are intent on making bad legal decisions; when our clients are fucking up? This could be a post about practical ways in which us attorneys can try and advise and steer our clients to make better legal decisions, but that is not what I am aiming at this week. I am curious as to why it bothers me when clients make fucked up decisions. Why is this? Isn’t it how I make my living? Being there to offer advice when clients need it? And they most invariably need it when they are fucking up. Yes, this is true. But I am talking about those times when no matter what we say, clients are intent on making fucked up decisions. If this bothers me, I can’t help but think it bothers others. And if there is something about our jobs and professions that bothers us, that is what I want to write about.
Is the idea of clients making poor decisions, or fucking up, a foregone conclusion for us, though? Is it inevitable that we will have a certain number of clients that no matter what advice we give them, they will always endeavor to do the exact opposite of what we have advised? How are we to avoid this cycle for some recalcitrant and obstinate clients? Because let’s be clear. While avoiding this cycle is definitely beneficial to the client and their case, it also is beneficial to us as their counselors at law.
I wonder if the point is that we cannot avoid this vicious cycle for some clients. Some clients, I believe, are hell bent on fucking up their shit despite the sound legal advice that we give them. I feel strongly that most us attorneys want to give our clients sound advice. We want to tell them what the legal issues are and how they, as the client, can best behave in order to better address their legal issues. And we genuinely want things to go well for them. So when they are fucking up and can’t manage, no matter how much we advise, urge, and sometimes beg them to do the legally advisable thing, I believe that it can be hard on us. Sometimes, their poor decision-making can serve to assault our confidence and unnecessarily inspire confusion. I think it can also inspire hopelessness. I don’t care who you are, you have been in the position where you were wringing your hands and screaming “Why?!!!” at a client’s behavior. So, what do we do with this for ourselves and our working lives? Here are some bulleted thoughts:
- Tell Them They Are Fucking Up
- I am of the attorney group who feels it is our duty to tell our clients that they are fucking up. I of course, do not say it like that. However, I don’t think we should sugar coat it either. I think it is important to tell a client, very plain and straight, that we do not think they are making the right decision(s) and what the legal consequences of their behavior can be. I think it is important to put this message in writing because the message we are usually imparting is one that clients often have trouble remembering later when they haven’t listened to our advice and things have blown up in their face. Telling the client they are making poor decisions also helps us resolve that we have done all that we could do to help steer the client in the right direction. Being frank in the communication of the message contributes to the feeling that we are doing all that we can to warn the client of their being their own worse enemy.
- Immediately Accept that They Will Not Take Your Advice
- I have learned that there is a certain percentage of clients who no matter what you do or say, they will never take your advice. They have hired you because they do need a lawyer, but they have no intention of utilizing one for their legal problem. Their goal is for their attorney to validate their position and poor decisions. They don’t want to do any self-examination or self-reflection to try and get to the root of their legal problem. You have to resign yourself to this and accept it. You also need to not internalize the client’s decision(s) to not take your advice. It has nothing to do with the advice you are giving. Recognize you are giving good advice and their decision not to take it is not a reflection of how good or bad an attorney you are.
- Recognize Their Decisions Aren’t YOUR Decisions
- It is really important to not take on your client’s decisions. If the client is an adult, with no intellectual disabilities that inhibit their ability to make rational decisions, they are well aware of what they are doing. It is important to recognize that they make their own decisions, and you don’t have to sign onto those decisions nor agree with them just because you have been charged with representing them. You are not your client, and their decisions are not YOUR decisions (when they are not taking your advice).
- Consider Ending the Representation
- Clients continuing to make poor decisions despite your advice can have a negative cumulative effect on the representation and your ability to effectively represent them. I believe that clients continuing to fuck up their own shit are really sabotaging the representation. It is really hard to keep representing someone who keeps sabotaging your efforts to help them through their legal problem. When it gets to this point, it may be time to get out.
It is important to not let client’s fucked up decision-making adversely affect your practice and your well-being as a lawyer. They are grown (if you represent adults). You are grown. Everyone is grown in these scenarios. Hence, we need to let it go when clients make fucked up decisions. They can’t say we didn’t warn them.
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