That is Not the Way I Do Business
We all have our vices. Years ago, I used to watch a certain reality tv franchise whose cast of characters were women (some employed) who spent most of their time remarking on their riches and attending parties. One such woman was an attorney. In one scene, this attorney’s assistant came to this attorney’s home. The attorney’s assistant was giving her a run down on the status of her cases. During their session they came to one client who thought it appropriate to dress down the assistant for something that was not the firm’s fault. The attorney cavalierly passed the assistant that client’s file and said “Okay, you can contact that client and return any monies in trust. Let them know we don’t do business that way.”
That scene stuck with me for years. When I went into private practice, that phrase that she uttered seemed ever more relevant and necessary to save in my private stash of rote scripts. Despite the demands and duties that we have to our clients, we attorneys still have the power and authority to determine how we choose to do business.
So what does that actually mean in the context of an attorney’s work? This is what I mean. Here is a list of examples that illustrate this week’s post. (Of course, none of these examples is real…really…wink, wink…giggle, giggle)
- Client is a busy professional. So busy, in fact, that Client is too busy to attend their own meetings with you, their lawyer. Client sends their nearest and dearest friend to your next scheduled meeting to talk with you about the Client’s incarceration exposure should they be found guilty of exposing themself at a public park to little children. Client insists that their friend is totally trustworthy and wants you to be cool with this. No. I am sorry. I do not do business that way.
- Domestic and family court cases can be tricky. But the practitioner who practices in this field has developed a thick skin, and is not easily startled by any behavior of family law clients. However, family law Client keeps inquiring about your criminal law background and about how much your fee would be should they be charged with murder. No. I am sorry. I do not do business that way.
- Client is distrustful of the modern financial system and insists on satisfying their bill only in cash. Sure! Cash is king. But Client’s anxiety also extends to everything outside their militaristic compound on the outskirts of town. Client insists that you pick up your fee at a location that they will only disclose to you 15 minutes prior to the drop. You must come alone, and there are strict instructions for you when you arrive: you are not to leave your car, you are to keep the engine running, you must blindfold yourself with 100% Egyptian cotton cloth, and you must leave your trunk open. No. I am sorry. I do not do business that way.
- Being a female legal practitioner is often fraught with tricky situations due to your gender. Client is a very good client. They listen to your advice and timely satisfy their bill each month. However, Client often gets distracted when Client goes off on a tangent about how stylish and pretty you are. You are able to get Client back on track most of the time. But that becomes impossible when Client spends 30 minutes of your hour-long hearing preparation meeting insisting that you wear your hair down for court instead of up. No. I am sorry. I do not do business that way.
- Life can be challenging. And most clients are in the midst of one of the most psychologically challenging times of their lives when they come to see you. You have a hearing set for 2 pm on a Friday afternoon. Client has some “challenges”, so the day before, in preparation for the hearing, you stop by the Client’s home to talk briefly about last-minute preparations. Morning of the hearing, Client emails you that driving to the hearing is just too stressful for them and they just can’t bear to get behind the wheel. Client wants you to come and get them and take them to the hearing and then take them home after (with maybe a quick stop at the grocery store on the way back). Ahhhh….no….its Covid. Sorry, no. I do not do business that way.
- You have an important hearing for Client coming up in a few days. Client has been eager for this hearing to occur and wants their case to move forward. The opposing side has got the hearing continued at least two times over your objection. You get a call from opposing counsel the night before the hearing. One of opposing counsel’s parents unexpectedly died and they need to leave town the morning of the hearing for the funeral. Client is unaffected and tells you that they don’t want to consent to a continuance. Client goes as far as telling you that you work for them and that they forbid you from consenting to the continuance. No. Actually, HELL NO. I do not do business that way. (And by the way, I will be withdrawing from your case. Here is your final bill and get the fuck out of my office).
Attorneys often have a tight rope to walk with our clients. Yes, our clients hire us to help them with a legal matter. But often, clients equate the hiring of an attorney with that of the hiring of a decorator. If they want it, we must go and do it for them. Oh no. We are not go-fers. While we have an ethical duty to our clients, we still have to operate within the bounds of the law and the rules of professional responsibility. So often, I think that lawyers feel they have to say yes to every whim of their client just because they were hired. No. Being an attorney is a profession, not just a job. So we DO have the ability to say: No. That is not the way I do business. A power and a privilege I choose to exercise when the situation calls for it.