This past week, I had an experience that sparked this week’s post. When we as lawyers relate to one another, it can be in various different ways. Some of us are very congenial and joke with one another. There is a comfort of communication that happens in those instances. And there are some instances with us lawyers where the room is very closed and stuffy and there is not much of any room for emotive expression. The expectation in those instances is that we will not extoll to anyone our true feelings and keep reserved and quiet. Comment is not to be had and we are expected to stay focused on the legal goal at hand and keep everything else to ourselves.

            We as attorneys are expected at all times to be almost clinical in our dealings not only with our clients but with one another. But this expectation is not equal across the diversity of attorneys that exists in our current legal community. Some attorneys are allowed, regardless of venue, to be daring and brash. Those attorneys are given leeway that some of us others are not. Even with this inequity, there still exists the general overall expectation that we as attorneys must at all times reserve our feelings no matter how valid. When we are in court, of course the rules are there for a reason. However, when we are not and we are in spaces where we are only to relate to one another, sometimes those expectations remain and serve only to stifle our abilities to relate to one another in a way that encourages support in the profession.

            So, what is expected of us when we are just relating to one another as attorneys? What do we expect from one another when we relate? And are these reasonable expectations of one another considering the demands of our jobs and the huge emotional toll some of what we do can impress upon us? Unfortunately, what is expected of us, even amongst one another, can contribute significantly to the notorious statistic about how unhappy we, as attorneys, collectively are. I think we gotta get more honest with one another in these spaces. Honest about how we feel and honest about how others have made us feel. I think when it’s just “us” talking, we all should try to shake off the oftentimes very unfair expectations that are pinned to our vests. There is a lot that is expected of us from everyone. Let’s not continue to perpetrate those expectations upon each other unnecessarily.

*Image Credit: 568183 © Darko Draskovic | Dreamstime.com